Submitted by: Connie Wells is an thirty something author helping to promote a healthy sex life through her own personal experiences.
When I was in my early 20′s, hormones were raging and I was developing strong attractions for good looking men. I also thought it was due time to plunge out of virginity-land into the world of a full fledged sexual woman (I watched way to much Sex and the City!) After 10 years of watching music videos and Hollywood romance movies depicting how great sex is, I had very high expectations for my first encounter. I choose my first mate and enjoyed what was to be the greatest most memorable moment of my life.. or maybe not.
We had a few glasses of wine but I was far from drunk. His penis inserting felt nice, there was no hymen to break, I have reached third base before and had some finger play with a guy before I was ready to loose my virginity. (this experience was relatively enjoyable however my boyfriend was too young and had no idea what to do when faced with a vagina…)
Thrusting a few times, some kisses and caressing of the head… I’m waiting for something big to happen… It feels nice but nothing to write home about. And then it’s all over. He finished his business and I’m left with my thighs still heated and wanting more. The whole point of sex is to share a close bond but in my opinion it felt like I was doing him a service by laying there like a rag doll. What happened to this amazing feeling, sex is the source of lyrics for most songs on the billboard charts and this is what it is REALLY like?
A case like mine is certainly not a rarity. A search on any online forum and sex column will always suggest sex toys. I was very open to this idea, however I referred sex toys for “solo pleasure time” and never really considered it as part of sexual intercourse. Needing to make the next experience better, I went for it and started my collection for “interactive experimentation” in the bedroom.
Fast forward several years and I am finally living my sexual prime. I have a whole drawer full of sex toys now and can easily be considered an “expert” in the field. Now it’s my turn to inspire twenty somethings on my personal favorite sex tip: Have an orgasm before sex.
Taking any sex toy you like most, bring it into the bedroom with you. Get him to use it on you if you’re feeling extra playful (although for purpose of effectiveness, it works better of you handle the device yourself as you know exactly how hard and fast your body needs to respond with a powerful orgasm.)
It seems so simple, but having an orgasm before sex is one of the most powerful ways to increase your pleasure. Give it a try!