I’m on a mission. I’m determined to find my G-spot. Let me tell you why:
I believe either I don’t have a G-spot or it’s broken.
I’ve talked with many of my friends about this, both men and women. The men feel that with the proper attention the G-spot can and will be found. The women that actually have found their G-spot and have experienced the earth shattering orgasms that are said to accompany stimulating this little area, have tried to explain to me where it is and how to find it. I have one friend that said, “You need to have someone, (meaning a woman) that knows where it is show you.” Then, “and it’s not going to be me.” Of course, I laughed quite hard and asked why not? Were we not close enough for her to stick her fingers inside my body and…? Ahem…well, you get the picture. “Fine, but I’m using gloves,” she replied.
Getting back to my original goal, I recently purchased a G-spot vibrator. It looked like it would do the trick. Rather than me try to describe it, here is a picture for you.
The Wireless Thumbs up G-spot Vibrator
Looks pretty good, right?
Needless to say, when my carefully packaged toy came in the mail, I was very excited to use it. And so, I did. Aaand…no dice. I didn’t feel anything except, of course, the vibration from the vibrator on my clitoris. On the inside, where I was supposed to feel the vibration on my G-spot? Nothing. Nada. Zilch.
There is no such thing as a g-spot, that’s what the scientists have concluded after sixty years of research, using surveys, imaging scans and biopsies of women but they won’t definitively say that a g-spot can’t ever be discovered by future scientists. There is no such thing as a g-spot but in some women that have vaginal orgasms they found that the tissue in the area where the g-spot was thought to be is thicker as opposed to the women that aren’t vaginally orgasmic. Knowing everything that I do about the wonderful always giving clitoris I don’t doubt that what the scientists are now surmising is correct…
the G-spot is really just the extension of the clitoris
Just like a man’s penis has another inch or sometimes two buried in his pelvis that we can’t see they think that female clitoris might extend into the vaginal wall for some women. I’m so tempted to go off topic here to tell about the magical things you can do to that root of the penis but I will save that for another day. ::pushes dirty thoughts out mind::
Scientists have been coming and going (no pun intended) about whether the g-spot exists or not, whether the clitoris has a purpose or not, and about whether orgasm matters for women or not for a very many many years. While scientists continue to “research” we women have to remember that it wasn’t too long ago that “scientists” considered women with high libidos hysterics and women that couldn’t orgasm as frigid. So, what do I think of this research?
Before I start consuming new books in 2012, I wanted to make sure that I shared with you three very important lessons that I learned from three great books I read in 2011.
Lesson #1: It is never too late to get what you really really want from sex or life!
That subtitle perfectly describes exactly what this book is all about. Had this book been in my hands in 1994, the year in which I began to define my sexuality and what I wanted from sex, I am sure that it would not have taken me eighteen years of trial and error to get to the confident pleasurable place where I am now!
When I started reading this book, I was once again struggling with the terms of my relationship, my sexual desires and my career goals. It hurts when you aren’t sure what you really really want because you’re worrying about what others expect, want for you or will say about you! I think that it might hurt a little more when you know what you really really want for yourself but can’t verbalize it because of fear. I knew what I wanted before picking up this book but I still worried about *them* then early in this book I read….
“Don’t let the fear of “getting a reputation” of any kind hold you back from exploring your sexuality on your own terms, even if that means you’re not ready to explore it yet.”
This is a guest post by Clarisse Thorn. It was originally published at the girl-power site Off Our Chests.
* * *I CAN’T COME.
and it’s poisoned
I’ve ever had.
masturbating doesn’t work. I don’t know why. I tried therapy too, but my smart, understanding, sex-positive, open-hearted doctor couldn’t help. drugs while fucking? check. I date attentive men who only want to make me happy, but no matter how fantastic they make me feel, I can’t get off. and believe me, I like sex. I love sex! how can it feel so good and not end in an orgasm? I tried experimenting, and I sure do love the kink. it feels great. but doesn’t get me off. I’ve tried everything. everything.
now I have the best boyfriend I’ve ever had. but just like every other one, he can’t get me off. big dick? oral sex? tons of foreplay? kink? it’s all there. nothing works. I used to lie to my boyfriends and say it was ok that I couldn’t get off. then at least they could enjoy sex without feeling guilty. but then they’d stop trying, of course. and this one is still trying … sometimes. I mean, it’s clearly never going to work. so I can’t blame him for not having the same passion for trying as he used to. and I keep thinking I should back off. after all, why put pressure on him to “perform”? he’ll just resent me if I keep asking for more, even if I’m gentle about it and compliment him and all that. since nothing he does works. it will never work.
When I talk to my friends about their first sexual relationships some of them shudder then laugh. I’ve heard all sorts of stories from friends about why they had sex with the first few men. Their reasons range from wanting to lose their virginity and thinking it was the “next phase” of their relationships to wanting their boyfriends to love them and because they were afraid to lose the boyfriend they loved to another girl that would “put out”. Few of my friends have admitted that the reason why they had sex with the first few men in their lives was because they wanted to and they wanted to experience the pleasure of sex. I guess that from the beginning I didn’t think about sex like my girlfriends did.
If you don’t love yourself how can you expect anyone to love you?
Yes. I’ve heard that before and I am sure you have too.
Have you ever stopped to think…that if you don’t know how to fuck yourself right maybe you shouldn’t expect anyone else to fuck you right either?